I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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