I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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