Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
