Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
