Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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