no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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