just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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