I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
