God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize