just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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