I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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