my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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