We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
