ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
