And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize