no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
