ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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