And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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