Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
