I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
