thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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