At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
