just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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