I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
