OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
