we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
