I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
