Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
