Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
