What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
