And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The power of my boobs compel you
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
