the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
