So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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