5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
