She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
