i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
