i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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