What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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