Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
