I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
