I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
