a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
