I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
