I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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