All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
