I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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