I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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