I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
