So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
