If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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