That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
