I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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