Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
