Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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