yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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