they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
