My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
