before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
