I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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