Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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