well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
