I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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