Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
can u get pink eye on your cock?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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